MS Caregivers

Caring for the Caregiver -- Pt 1

I'm starting an occasional series of posts called Caring for the Caregiver.  Welcome to Part 1.  I'm doing this for a variety of reasons:

1. Caregivers find it too easy to overlook themselves.
2. Caregivers need to have strategies and tactics at hand to combat caregiver burnout.
3. The everday stresses of being a caregiver work against us.  We need to find offsetting tactics.
4. It's something that I need to work on -- and blogging through this will help me do that.

Being a caregiver can be financially, emotionally, mentally and physically taxing.  The easiest thing in the world for a caregiver to do is to forget to take care of themselves.  This invites real danger.  Caregiver burnout is a popular outcome but it's not the only outcome.  Stress affects our immune systems.  A compromised immune system leaves a caregiver susceptible to all kinds of illnesses.  And once a caregiver is sick, the caregiving needs have doubled...without a replacement caregiver in sight.  Which causes more stress...and, well, you get the idea.  It's a viscious cycle that is best avoided.

So we have to eat smart.  We have to exercise...not only for the short-term benefits of those endorphins being released, but also because regular exercise contributes to our overall health.  We have to make time for ourselves.  A little time every day and even a few days of respite every so often.  If any of this sounds too self-indulgent, don't believe it for a second.  Without paying attention to these important steps, your caregiving days will be numbered.  And then what?

I've started to exercise a lot more regularly.  Like anything else, this is made a lot easier if you can do it with a friend.  I'm working on carving out some "me" time each day.  And I'm taking that trip to Las Vegas that I've been hoping or not hoping to take for the past 10 months.  My plan is to go for 3 days toward the end of June.  I've had the reservations for a while...but I've cancelled reservations before.  This time I'm going.  Because I deserve it and because it's important.  It will make me a better caregiver.

I'll be returning to this topic periodically over the next 60-90 days.  It's not a topic that I've spent a lot of time blogging about before because it remains a challenge for me, as it does for many other caregivers.  But I know that I can't possibly be there for Jeanne if I lose myself in the process. 

Celebrating A Better Day

It's been a difficult couple of days.  Jeanne has had some above-the-norm cognitive challenges and of all of the symptoms that MS brings, the dulling of Jeanne's cognitive skills are the most difficult for me to deal with.  I think it's because there's no physical clue that anything is "off."  But spending just a few minutes talking with Jeanne made it clear that there was a change in how she was processing things...or not processing things.

During one of these "events", my mind tends to fill with a million questions.  Will she be like this more often?  Is this a preview of the next stage of progression?  Questions for which there are no useful answers.  Nor does it really matter.  You can get into a lot of trouble attempting to predict the future.  True in the stock market.  Equally true in our house.

The good news is that today Jeanne is doing better.  Less confusion.  Lots more sleep.  Between increased sleeping and losing her grasp of reality, you know which condition I'm voting for.  And so I'm content to silence the questions and stay in the present with Jeanne.  Because today is a better day.