Caring for the Caregiver -- Pt 1

I'm starting an occasional series of posts called Caring for the Caregiver.  Welcome to Part 1.  I'm doing this for a variety of reasons:

1. Caregivers find it too easy to overlook themselves.
2. Caregivers need to have strategies and tactics at hand to combat caregiver burnout.
3. The everday stresses of being a caregiver work against us.  We need to find offsetting tactics.
4. It's something that I need to work on -- and blogging through this will help me do that.

Being a caregiver can be financially, emotionally, mentally and physically taxing.  The easiest thing in the world for a caregiver to do is to forget to take care of themselves.  This invites real danger.  Caregiver burnout is a popular outcome but it's not the only outcome.  Stress affects our immune systems.  A compromised immune system leaves a caregiver susceptible to all kinds of illnesses.  And once a caregiver is sick, the caregiving needs have doubled...without a replacement caregiver in sight.  Which causes more stress...and, well, you get the idea.  It's a viscious cycle that is best avoided.

So we have to eat smart.  We have to exercise...not only for the short-term benefits of those endorphins being released, but also because regular exercise contributes to our overall health.  We have to make time for ourselves.  A little time every day and even a few days of respite every so often.  If any of this sounds too self-indulgent, don't believe it for a second.  Without paying attention to these important steps, your caregiving days will be numbered.  And then what?

I've started to exercise a lot more regularly.  Like anything else, this is made a lot easier if you can do it with a friend.  I'm working on carving out some "me" time each day.  And I'm taking that trip to Las Vegas that I've been hoping or not hoping to take for the past 10 months.  My plan is to go for 3 days toward the end of June.  I've had the reservations for a while...but I've cancelled reservations before.  This time I'm going.  Because I deserve it and because it's important.  It will make me a better caregiver.

I'll be returning to this topic periodically over the next 60-90 days.  It's not a topic that I've spent a lot of time blogging about before because it remains a challenge for me, as it does for many other caregivers.  But I know that I can't possibly be there for Jeanne if I lose myself in the process. 

Comments

[Linda]

I am glad to see that you are starting to address the needs of the caregiver. As you stated in your last paragraph, it is a struggle to actually do the things that you have identified as necessary for caregivers to fend off health problems themselves. Do you think that caregivers should have someone else buddy up with them to accomplish some of these things. A person to remind the caregiver to stop and take care of his/herself and join in on time away from the person being cared for.

[James Duke]

Just came across your blog. Valuable for me. I'm a new caregiver for my wife, diagnosed with M.S. last month after she suffered a heavily debilitating episode of symptoms that has currently left her almost entirely an invalid, including no eyesight. I have been scrambling in one month to catch up on M.S. info while, at the same time, securing in-home therapy and other aides. Also I must field numerous "helpful suggestions" from our friends, such as it must be something else that can be more directly treated. I have the advantage of being retired, so I have no outside job to impede my efforts. The drawback is I am 68. She is 63.